Hitler Was Missing One Testicle

Poetry by Neil Carpathios ◊ Street Art in Haight-AshburySF dragon

So, did he ever wonder

privately in his head

how much ash from

how many dead Jews

it would take to fill

a golf ball-size hollow egg

to be surgically inserted

as a prosthetic sperm-

producing apparatus making

him finally equal

to other men?

Could this be the secret

reason he struck out

at the world?

Did it have nothing

to do with politics

or his failed art career

but an anatomical

deficiency, perhaps

made fun of as a boy

in the school showers

or having to sheepishly explain

to a confused lover

who cupped and fondled

finding only one

where experience had taught her

there should be two,

always two?

Was the other kid

or woman

Jewish? Did Adolph

ever read in a trivia book

that Napoleon also

had one testicle?

Was it an epiphany?

Did he figure death

and conquering

were the only ways

to prove his manliness

to himself

and the world?

Could it all have been averted

with the proper therapy,

understanding his macho tendencies?

Has no one ever studied this—

the I’ll Show Them, One Testicle Short Syndrome?

Did Alexander the Great have just one?

Genghis Khan?

Mussolini?

Stalin?

Caesar?

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