Capricious Heart

Art by  LaChele Claypool ∇ Poetry by Nicole Surginer



I am stranger in my own land

A prisoner of my capricious heart

Burdensome shackles tethered

To pillars of emptiness

Fetter my will, forcing me

To lie barren and cold

Where concrete binds lies

Darkness whispers a name

I no longer recognize

I question the intent of her beating

The way she quivers and shakes

Threatening to implode in panic

And fall still into apathy’s sludge

Within my very same breath

Heeding no rhythm or order

Her hot, gushing throb

Pulsing the plague of loneliness

Through thready veins

Perhaps she’ll lead me blindly to

walk planks of sabotage from a cliff

To die having never truly lived


I question the integrity of time.

The constant urgency to

tick away the moments I fail to live.

My feet shuffle along on autopilot

before I’ve realized the movement,

trudging through the loneliest

places amongst mass crowds.

Terrifying expressions on blank faces.

I search them frantically or meaning,

craving peace of fleshly mind.

My heart shudders in fight

to catch my vanished breath.

I fear my thoughts will be heard

through the ringing of silent chaos.

My soul searching emptiness

for one voice that speaks truth.

A splatter of beauty in color on

blind walls in mundane spaces.

Washed away

I am caught in the pull

of your crushing current

Flailing wildly to fight

the allure of memories

raging tide drawing me

nearer your forbidden shore.

Yet the pulls of yearning

subdue my will completely

My love brims full remaining

a single beat from implosion

For I can not yet pour my

heart bleeds into the soul

unable to drown in them.


I speak yet there is no sound.

Words tumble blindly, empty,

dissipate in the wind.

Sun shines brightly,

clear as these cloudless skies.

I am lost in the shadows.

I am invisible.

My mind was lost here.

The sparrow scatters the crumbs.

Feasting fledglings,

I am empty.


Nicole Surginer is a poet from the small town of Bastrop, Texas. She is inspired to write through her obsession with nature’s enchantment, a fascination with expressing the power of love in a raw, intense form and finding beauty in the darkest places. She has been published in Tuck Magazine, Anti-Heroin Chic, Indiana Voice Journal, Sick Lit Magazine, Your One Phone Call, In Between Hangovers, The Song Is, Scarlett Leaf Review, Oddball magazine, and has pending publictions with Prachya Review  and the anthology Dandelion in a vase of roses.

LaChele Claypool is a Photographer / Artist with more art at on Instagram-

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